Lisa Holt

Who won the toss? Who’s got the ball? What quarter is it? What’s the score?  Who’s winning?  Sounds like a conversation at a sporting event, right?  But have you ever noticed that sometimes in relationships we keep score, too?  Have you ever heard or spoken words like, “I took the trash out last time, it’s your turn”? Or, “I washed dishes last night, tonight it’s your turn”?  In other words, “One for me; zero for you”.  Newsflash: Keeping score is for sports, not relationships!


Pick a relationship—spouse, partner, child, parent, friend—and start keeping score; chances are you won’t have that relationship for long.  Relationships are about giving and taking, and working as a team to accomplish a goal.  I think we all have times when we feel like we are doing everything and everyone else is just along for the ride.  But sometimes, that’s of our own doing, because we don’t ask for help and we become overwhelmed.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help—life is too short to try to be everything to everyone.  And don’t keep score with yourself, either, by thinking that “I really need to take out the trash because he/she did it last time”.  It doesn’t matter who did what when.  What matters is that it gets done now.


Save your mathematical prowess for the arena.  You will find that you are a happier person when you don’t remember who did what last.  And, in the end, people will be more willing to help when you don’t remind them who did what last.